Despite He Ain’t Lion‘s rocky and repetitive start, it delivers the funny in spades with inventive swearing and crazy canibalistic thoughts, and dishes up a sexy, but self-conscious, plus-sized main character who upon meeting and bedding the alpha male of a lion shifter pride, transforms from a human female into a fierce and hungry shapeshifting alpha lioness. And there are no premature I Love Yous with the Happy Ever After!
The men here certainly seemed to like a girl with some cushion for the pushin’. At least, that’s what their gazes told her. Hell, even some of the ladies were giving Maya the same lustful glances. But tonight was not the night for lovin’ with the female persuasion, though. Maybe another time…
She had big hips, big thighs, and big breasts, all of which added up to a big woman.
I enjoyed Maya’s transformation difficulties. She has no idea what is happening to her.
Reaching the back section of the store, she stared at the plethora of beef before her. And it had to be beef. Because chicken, fish, and pork, just weren’t gonna cut it. Part of her balked at her sudden, insatiable craving for meat, but the other part, the stronger part that seemed to be prowling, dragging its nails inside her brain, told her to grab it all and eat it raw, bathe in the blood to feed her hunger. Okay, ew, just yuck.
Maya growled at anyone that got too close. Her food. All hers!
Even her cannibalistic thoughts are funny. She doesn’t act on them so it’s okay to laugh.
As the smell of raw meat tempted her, called to her, she could hear the heartbeat of every passing shopper. And they all looked so delicious , reminded that growly-prowly sensation in her mind, seemingly interested in several of the individuals perusing the produce section. Maya licked her lips and swallowed the pooling saliva in her mouth […] “Carly, there’s something really, really wrong with me. Like, really.” She knew she hadn’t just woken up this morning, and decided, “Hey, let’s be a cannibal today. Yay!”
When Maya’s finally clued into her situation she utters some inventive swearing at the man responsible.
“You ass-sniffing, butt-crack licking , litter box-using fuckhole!”
But she can’t stay mad at him for long.
“You are absolutely perfect, just the way you are.”
“Heh. You ain’t lyin’.”
I’m grateful that there are no cheesy I Love Yous, just “everlasting love, someday… just not quite yet” which is far more realistic after what she thought would be one wonderfully energetic one-night stand to get over her unappreciative ex-boyfriend. An extra chapter at the end would’ve been nice to rub the ex’s face in it with her sexy new mate. Am I the only one to like a bit of revenge in my romance?
Although I’d like to continue with the series, I’m holding off because the price for the next story is too high for the number of pages – 44 pages for £2! (I’d want at least 100 pages for that) – so I’ll wait.